The Counselling Room
http://www.counsellingroom.org
Made by Mari with you in mind
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING                                        “How did we get to this point?” Relationship   counselling   can   be   couples,   married   or   not,   different   sex   or   same   sex;   it can    also    include    families—parents    and    children—or    where    any    people    have    a relationship.   You   may   feel   you   are   drifting   apart   or   you   may   be   reeling   from   a   crisis. One   party   may   have   had   an   affair—you   may   be   wondering   whether   to   end   the relationship—how would it be possible to carry on? My   task   as   a   counsellor   is   to   stay   neutral—to   offer   a   safe   space   to   both   parties—I will   not   be   blaming   one   partner   or   taking   sides.   I   will   be   opening   a   new   window   for you   to   see   your   lives   and   relationship   in   a   different   way—to   express   your   own thoughts   and   feelings.   To   then   look   at   the   situation   from   your   partner’s   point   of view                     can   be   very   enlightening.   I   counselled   a   couple   recently   who   told   me   “You pointed out things to us that others hadn’t noticed and we hadn’t realised”. In   couple   counselling,   there   are   three   aspects:   the   relationship   (which   can   be   the   focus   of   the   joint   session   work)   and   each   member   of   the   couple’s own   issues   (which   can   be   the   focus   of   individual   sessions).   It   may   be   that   you   have   relationship   issues   but   your   partner   is   not   wishing   to   attend   for counselling.— I can still work with you for a better understanding of your situation. Relationship   counselling   is   not   about   keeping   a   couple   together   at   all   costs   but   helping   them   to explore    their    relationship    and    make    informed    decisions    for    the    future—how    changes    can    be made—to   appreciate   each   other   again.   Sometimes   it   can   mean   a   couple   will   still   separate   but   may   be able   to   make   a   better   ending   (which   can   be   valuable   if   children   are   involved)   or   at   least   to   feel   they have tried all avenues. If   one   person   has   had   an   affair,   this   may   be   a   chance   to   re-assess   the   relationship—it   need   not necessarily   mean   a   separation.   Of   course,   there   are   a   lot   of   hurt,   angry   feelings,   also   guilt,   and   trust that   needs   to   be   rebuilt.   Often   people   have   affairs   to   find   something   they   feel   is   missing   from   their relationship at that time. The underlying reasons can be explored during counselling sessions. It   may   be   uncomfortable   for   both   parties   but,   to   come   to   a   fuller   understanding   and   to   be   able   to move   forward,   each   needs   to   listen   to   the   other   and   the   other   party   needs   to   feel   heard,   for   their feelings to be acknowledged
The Counselling Room
http://www.counsellingroom.org
Made by Mari with you in mind
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING                                        “How did we get to this point?” Relationship   counselling   can   be   couples,   married   or   not,   different   sex   or same   sex;   it   can   also   include   families—parents   and   children—or   where   any people   have   a   relationship.   You   may   feel   you   are   drifting   apart   or   you   may be   reeling   from   a   crisis.   One   party   may   have   had   an   affair—you   may   be wondering   whether   to   end   the   relationship—how   would   it   be   possible   to carry on? My   task   as   a   counsellor   is   to   stay   neutral—to   offer   a   safe   space   to   both parties—I   will   not   be   blaming   one   partner   or   taking   sides.   I   will   be   opening a   new   window   for   you   to   see   your   lives   and   relationship   in   a   different way—to    express    your    own    thoughts    and    feelings.    To    then    look    at    the situation   from   your   partner’s   point   of   view                     can   be   very   enlightening.   I counselled   a   couple   recently   who   told   me   “You   pointed   out   things   to   us   that others hadn’t noticed and we hadn’t realised”. In   couple   counselling,   there   are   three   aspects:   the   relationship   (which   can be   the   focus   of   the   joint   session   work)   and   each   member   of   the   couple’s own   issues   (which   can   be   the   focus   of   individual   sessions).   It   may   be   that you   have   relationship   issues   but   your   partner   is   not   wishing   to   attend   for counselling.—   I   can   still   work   with   you   for   a   better   understanding   of   your situation. Relationship   counselling   is   not   about   keeping   a   couple   together   at   all   costs but   helping   them   to   explore   their   relationship   and   make   informed   decisions for   the   future—how   changes   can   be   made—to   appreciate   each   other   again. Sometimes   it   can   mean   a   couple   will   still   separate   but   may   be   able   to   make a   better   ending   (which   can   be   valuable   if   children   are   involved)   or   at   least to feel they have tried all avenues. If   one   person   has   had   an   affair,   this   may   be   a   chance   to   re-assess   the relationship—it    need    not    necessarily    mean    a    separation.    Of course,   there   are   a   lot   of   hurt,   angry   feelings,   also   guilt,   and   trust that   needs   to   be   rebuilt.   Often   people   have   affairs   to   find something   they   feel   is   missing   from   their   relationship   at that time. The underlying reasons can be explored during counselling sessions. It   may   be   uncomfortable   for   both   parties   but,   to   come   to   a fuller   understanding   and   to   be   able   to   move   forward,   each needs   to   listen   to   the   other   and   the   other   party   needs   to feel heard, for their feelings to be acknowledged